Its OK

Hey Ya'll!

I hope everyone has been having a better week than I have.
This week has been pretty rough.
I've pretty much felt sick off and on all day, every day this week.
Baby Dixon is causing mommy to be a tiny bit miserable.

Monday night I took an hour and a half nap, not getting up until eight-thirty,
And then I went back to bed at eleven.
So that speaks about my energy levels...
What energy levels?!?

This has caused me to be a total slacker.
At work I'm focusing on trying to stay awake,
And at home I'm focusing on getting a shower and trying to stay awake...
Some nights I only make it until nine.
Then I'm hitting the sack.
Just sad...

Everyone keeps telling me that it gets better during the second trimester.
I suuree hope they are right.
Because right now, I have no motivation to do anything

I know I haven't posted my weekly update on Baby Dixon,
but I kind of just wanted to wait to post another one after my first baby appointment,
which is next March 6th (so this coming up Wednesday).
So I'll post a Baby Dixon update then.

Today, however, Its OK.
 

 

 

  It's OK   ...That my tummy isn't agreeable with any part of the day (unless I'm sleeping)   ...That I had a bad dream last night that scared the crapola out of me, so I got my husband to go to the bathroom with me at 1:30 this morning.   ...That today is the first day in over a week that I actually look somewhat decent (the rest of the time I've been in zombie mode)   ...That I'm already wanting to go back home and go to bed (not feeling good and being at work is not fun)   ...That I've nearly eaten an entire jar of pickles, right by myself   ...That the most I have done this week on my house is wash dishes (when I got home, I'm getting a shower and either taking a nap or going to bed for the night)   ...That this week has been very emotional week   ...That I hate the smell of popcorn   ...That I went and bought two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts the other night (I did split them with my parents, so that's a plus right?)                

5 for Five

Hello!

I feel like I've accomplished a lot already this morning.
First... I got out of bed
HUGE feat there, no kidding.

Second I got dressed...
I put just enough makeup on to get by,
which means I still look like a zombie.
However, this was still a biggie.

And Third... I made it to work.
I can't even begin to explain how hard getting up out of bed, getting dressed
and getting to work is at this point in time...

It isn't even nine o'clock yet
and I'm pretty sure I could go back to sleep at my desk.
Not good...

On a more excited note,
one that I may not necessarily be showing outwardly,
My first baby appointment is 1 week and two days away!
Yay!



 

Last weeks goals...

1. START going through desk

My husband and I done this Saturday night,
now we just need file folders for all of our bills from last year
 

2. Get my house in order

Thursday, the day I just couldn't get up and go to work, I completed this.
I made myself, after sleeping in, get up and start cleaning my house.
 

3. Eat more fruit and veggies

I worked on this, throwing in more salads while I was at work.
I didn't eat as much as I needed to, but Its a start. 

 

4. Do something active AT LEAST 2x

I went walking several times last week!
Yay me!
 

5.Crochet some more on my blanket

I did do this...

A. I was too tired at night to even pick it up

B. I realized I was nearly out of my yellow yarn.

 

 

Four out of five isn't too bad!!

Let's move on to my goals for this week.

 

1. Go through my shoes

Really need to start down-sizing in every area...
starting with the shoes.

 

2. Get File-folders for bills and put them away

I have had no motivation to do anything

 

3. Clean bathroom.

And get the hubby to help me

 

4. Do something active AT LEAST 2x

I've been doing good on this, so why stop now!

 

5.Crochet some more on my blanket

Now that I have my yellow yarn, I need to get my rear in gear!

What goals do you want to accomplish this week?!

 



Slacker Much?

I can't even begin to tell you how thrilled I am that today is Friday.

This week has felt soooo suuppperrrr lonnnggg!

I don't know if it's just me

but it has felt as if it has  dragged second by second just to torture me.

 

I've seriously been slacking this week.

And when I say slacking

I mean getting up, going to work, coming home, eating supper and going back to bed, slacking.

Then I get up and do the same thing the next day.

I hope what everyone keeps telling me is true about the second trimester

because I've literally been SUPER tired for the past few weeks.

 

I have literally done exactly that routine since last week.

And yesterday, well I couldn't even make myself get up out of bed to get to work

So I shot a text to my boss, and stayed home.

Once I felt good enough to get out of the bed

I made myself productive.

 

I have felt like doing NOTHING to my house lately...

Even the clothes were backed up and needing to be washed.

So Yesterday, after sleeping in,

I got up and got some very much needed cleaning done and all of the clothes washed and put up.

It was probably the most productive I've felt in two weeks.

Sad I know...

 

Since I've been doing nothing

I have nothing interesting to write about

So I'll do a link-up

Gotta love the link-ups!

 



Dear Exhaustion... I will be super glad when you are done taking over my body. I do not like the fact that by 9 pm I'm ready to hit the sack (and have frequently done just that).

Dear Nauseousness... I'm having to eat something every so often to keep you at bay, which is hard to do when you are at work and have nothing "healthy" to munch on.

Dear Oreos... You have been the bane of my existence this week, but oh so yummy!

Dear Mom... I love you like a fat kid loves oreos :)

Dear Dad... We are not naming my little boy (if we have one) Johnny Appleseed. I love you, Nut!

Dear husband... Thank you for being so patient the past few weeks. I've been so exhausted and you have been putting up with me going to sleep before you each night and the lack of energy to keep our house clean and clothes washed. You are the best!

Dear FSU... I will not miss you once I leave, because you are a serious pain in the rear!

Dear 1st Baby Appointment... Hurry up and get here! None of this feels real, and I feel like maybe you can help with that.

Dear Young Adults... I'm Psyched about bowling tonight! Maybe I won't fall asleep on you guys at the bowling alley while waiting for my turn.

Hope everyone has an AWESOME Friday!

6 Weeks and OHP

Hello All!

 

Happy Hump Day!
Thank you Jesus that we are halfway through this week.
I am very much looking forward to the weekend.

 

So as of yesterday, I am six weeks pregnant!

 

Baby Dixon is...

 

The size of a Sweet pea!

 

The little sweet pea is circulating blood with it's, newly formed, circulatory system!
And at six weeks, Baby Dixon is sprouting eyes, nose chin, cheeks, and ears!

 

 

 

 

Symptoms/Changes

 

Exhausted!!!
Emotional.

Sore breasts

Intense Smells (I smell everything!)
And just the tiniest bit of nausea
(no morning sickness, though, Thank God)
Sudden cravings

 

I thought cravings wouldn't come until later,
but the past week I had two sudden cravings, all from thinking/talking about it.
The first was Shirley Temples. I could taste it before even getting to the restaurant, and I rarely ever order me anything other than diet coke.
And the second was Chili, which I'm eating again today for lunch and tonight for supper! :)

 

Funny/Sweet Moments

I told my dad last week that Baby Dixon, at that time, was the size of an Appleseed.
So, now he has got it in his head that "Appleseed" is what he will be calling him.
I walked into the house yesterday and he says " How are you and my little Appleseed doing?"
I told him that technically the baby was the size of a sweet pea now.
He shook his head stubbornly and said, nope that's my Appleseed!
My dad is a mess

 

So I'll be linking up with Michelle from The Vintage Apple

 

 

Source: 25.media.tumblr.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

Source: projectnursery.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

 

Source: iwastesomuchtime.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

Source: sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net via Rebekah on Pinterest

Source: creativeorganization.blogspot.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

Source: jpmdesign.blogspot.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

5 for Five & Weekend Relish

Hey everyone!

I hope everyone is having a great Monday.
I had a test this morning, so I was studying all morning...which wasn't great.
However, the test is now over, and I can enjoy the rest of my day at work
And hopefully not fall asleep.

So, I've decided not to embarrass myself with all the red from my previous goals of last week.
 Last week wasn't a good week on making goals.
I've been totally wiped, thanks to the formation of Baby Dixon
Obviously, creating a kid inside of you is exhausting.
I'm finding that out.
I'm not going to bed at around 10 or 10:30 pm at night
(unusual for me)
and trying to sneak naps in during any day I can
which is normally on the weekend.

So I think I'll just be filling you in on my new goals for this week.
Ya know, clean slate and all
And then I'll share some pictures from my husband's birthday weekend.



 New Goals!

1. START going through desk

Maybe if I can just start it
I can actually finish it lol

 

2. Get my house in order

I have had no motivation to do anything

 

3. Eat more fruit and veggies

I need a high-fiber diet,
and I have no fresh veggies/fruit in the house 

 

4. Do something active AT LEAST 2x

I'm very proud of myself, because this was the only goal I completed last week
So I'll continue on with this one.

 

5.Crochet some more on my blanket

I want to finish this eventually...

That completes my goals for this week.

So here is a little preview of how my Saturday evening went...

 

Kisses for the B-day Boy

Bister and BIL at Red Lobster

B-rad G and Bister :)

My Twig man!

Yeah, she was talking with her hands hahaha

Me and my hubby!

Cutesy!

Seriously massive bow on that hat, no joke!

Should have stuffed him in a car seat and buckled him in

Yes, he is riding a pony LOL

Bahahahah!

 

 

 

11 Weeks and Counting...

Nope, I'm not referring to Baby Dixon...this time.

 

 

Today, I'm counting down the weeks/days until this semester is over.

It hasn't been a super difficult semester so far,

more of a nuisance.

 

I'm tired of going to campus and spending over half an hour fighting for a parking space

to spend exactly an hour and fifteen minutes in a boring class.

I'm tired of the homework's and discussion boards from my online class

I'm tired of stupid professor's who don't give you a review,

but tell you to focus on the lecture outlines

which only has a million points on it

I'm tired of professor's who give you a test review video,

and then put questions on the exam that wasn't mentioned in said video at all.

I'm tired of the studying, the note cards, and the aching hands..

 

 

 

I'm T-totally, one hundred percent, without a doubt ready to be over with college...period!

 

 

People will say I will miss it.

I can say I miss TCC already, my community college,

but FSU?

I feel with absolute certainty that I can say I truly will NOT miss FSU.

 

I won't miss:

The campus,

the parking,

the classes,

the pain of trying to find classes for non-traditional students

The students (obnoxious, rude, and need a lesson in courtesy)

Nor will I miss the Nudity Competition

(do you really have to go to class in shorts so small that when you sit down your bare bottom is touching the seat... gross!!)

 

I'm not trying to be mean on that last point,
And if I lose follower because of this, well then I do

But I'm just saying that girls these days have no sense of self-respect or modesty,

and while these things may be "in fashion" I still don't want to sit on a seat that had your bare booty on it, okay?

 



 

 

 

The only good thing about being in college at the moment...

Is that it totally helped with my taxes...

 

 

:)

Project "Me"

I find it amazing how long it takes some people to truly get to know themselves.

I'm twenty-three, and I'm still having self-revelations.

Of course, I've only been a twenty-three married woman for a little over a year.

So I'm finding out new things about myself.

Some I like and some I really don't like.

 

I heard something from Joyce Meyer today that really made me think.

 

"You decide how you are going to live, and your feelings will eventually catch up with it later"

~Joyce Meyer

What decisions am I making in my life about myself and how is it affecting me, my life,  my relationships, my friendships, and how will it affect my kids?

I always remember being insecure.
I don't remember a time when I didn't call myself fat and didn't like anything something about myself.
The only time I remember being confident and competent was when I was on the ball-field playing softball. I rocked at being catcher and 1st baseman. That isn't conceit. I knew I was good and knew I could do my jobs there. Despite the fact I was one of the biggest girls on the field, despite the fact that I was also probably the shyest out there as well, I could play my positions and play them well.

How come I've never felt that way about myself outside 1st base or behind home plate?
How come I've never been satisfied with the way I look?
Why is it I get intimated about things I feel I am not good at?
Why do I constantly worry about what my husband thinks or depend on his approval?
What is so wrong with me, that for years, I've put myself down for one thing or another?

Nothing...
Nothing is wrong with me.

I read this quote and stuck it in my little journal...

"Sometimes the hardest person to impress is yourself"
~Unknown

How true this is.
Sometimes, we have this picture in our head of what we are supposed to be.
Sometimes, we get this picture in our heads that this is what our spouse wants us to be,
that they aren't satisfied with us as we are.

Whether or not they are, I'm realizing that I don't want to depend on my husbands approval,
which is how I've felt lately.
Not that I don't love my husband
Not that I don't want him to be attracted to me
Not that I don't want him to like the person I am
Not that I don't value his opinion
I just don't want to depend on this to make me happy and love myself.

So I'm starting a Project "Me"

Think of it like baking a cake

First I need to make the batter and bake the cake so I have a foundation.
I need to change my perspective on me.
I need to see me in a new light.
I need to accept things I can't change
And change those things I know I can
I need to approve of myself and depend on my own approval.

My conclusions of Myself...

1. I will never be a size two.
I just don't have the type of body that is made to be a size two
And that's OK.
There is nothing wrong with my size 8/10

2. I will always have things I don't like about myself
This shouldn't define me
or diminish how attractive I think I am.
It shouldn't diminish your attraction to your spouse either
If it does, this isn't your fault
He has the problem.
Because love shouldn't be based on how you look
After all, both husband and wife will grow old, turn gray, and have wrinkles.

3. Not everything is related to me
Some days it may feel like it
But as previously stated, the fault isn't always on you
Why do women (not all of us, but some) always initially think that because our spouse, said/done/whatever this, that its because we didn't do something right?
I'm not saying that us ladies never do anything wrong, I'm just saying it isn't always you or just you.

4. I'm not perfect
I make my own mistakes
I don't get the wrinkles out of the sheets before  bed
I get grumpy when I'm sleepy
I can be sensitive
I hate cleaning the bathroom
 I don't always put up my clothes after wearing them.
 And I have gained a few pounds over the past year
That doesn't make me a bad wife, it makes me a human.
It isn't a reason for someone to not love you,
It should be a reason they love you even more,
because then the two of you can be "not-perfect" together.

I recently told my husband that I didn't fall in love with him because of his perfection, physical or otherwise.
I fell in love with W.D, the man
His strengths and weaknesses
His past successes and failures
His stubbornness and mischief
For his smile, even when it isn't there...

Why shouldn't I just accept that he loves me the same,
even if I don't look like a VS Model
Even if my but looks big that pair of jeans,
Even if I don't have that flat, sleek tummy (are those real, they look plastic)
Even if I have bad hair/makeup days
Or on the days I don't wear makeup
With five extra pounds or subtracting five pounds

 

 And if he doesn't, should that really alter the way I see myself?

So why did I feel the need to say all of this?

Because I am pregnant, and while I'm super excited and love the idea of a little life coming from myself and the love of my life, my whole body is about to change.
I'll probably gain, if not half, than at least three-quarters of all the weight I'd lost when I was eighteen/nineteen.

Because my husband and I won't be twenty-something for forever, and I need to go ahead and accept that there will be changes physically in the future. I'll get wrinkles around my eyes, and my hair will turn gray, but that its OK. Because It shouldn't diminish my beauty towards someone who loves me, and it shouldn't diminish my self-worth to the point that I don't like myself.

Because I know I can't be the only one out there who worries about how they look to their spouse, what the future holds and what he'll think then, so maybe my slight embarrassment over this post will help someone else discover their own beauty, acceptance and self-worth.

I know this has been an extremely long post, and for that I apologize.
I hope in some way it has given you hope and encouragement as it has for me writing it.
I hope that when you get home, wake up in the morning, or just walk into the bathroom at work and see yourself, that you see something beautiful, something worth having, a treasure made up entirely of flaws and perfections, strengths and weaknesses.

My sister made this statement to me, and I'll end with it...

"There isn't a such thing as an ugly person...
That is just a word society came up with to define something that didn't meet their criteria"

Don't sweat not meeting their standards.
For them it is all about making you feel bad.
The worse you feel about yourself, the more you will try to "fix" yourself, which means more money for them.
You should make yourself feel good because the better you feel, the happier you are with your life,
And you only have one of those to live.

Have a beautiful Day! :)